


Ready to Forget

by Party_Barnes



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: AU - Steve died trying to save Bucky from the fall, Bucky is the only character, Bucky was rescued by Hydra and became The Winter Soldier, Bucky's diary, I got bored, just rambling really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:42:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6853222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Party_Barnes/pseuds/Party_Barnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Steve died trying to save Bucky from the fall in CA:TFA but Bucky was rescued by Hydra and became The Winter Soldier.</p><p>The Winter Soldier is on the run and is slowly regaining some of his memories, although he can't control it. <br/>He begins writing down everything that comes to mind during these sudden bursts of memory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ready to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly idek what this is. I got really bored and had my laptop in my hands so I just busted out whatever came to mind.

The Winter Soldier begins remembering things. 

It comes in bursts, just tiny drips of information leaking through broken cracks in his memory. 

He begins to write it all down - the words, the emotions, the questions, everything.

It all begins with one word -  _Brooklyn._

 

 

 

_Brooklyn._

_Brooklyn is important._

_Where is Brooklyn?_

_Barns? There’s a barn …_

_Bombs._

_I kill._

 

_Barnes. It’s a name._

_More bombs._

_Sarah?_

_No. Who’s Sarah?_

_I killed again._

_What’s in Brooklyn?_

_I can’t remember!_

 

_Pain. Always pain._

_No, sadness?_

_What’s sadness?_

_Steve._

_Who is Steve? Was I Steve? Before … yes._

_I’m in Brooklyn._

_I kill I kill I kill I kill I kill kill kill kill_

_Pain._

_Its pain._

_Steve?_

_Who is sarah?_

 

_4 days gone. gone._

_Sleep is gone._

_Food is gone._

_Where am i?_

_Brooklyn? No._

_Russia._

_Barnes. Barnes._

_What is Barnes? A name._

_Bombs again and again._

_I’m not Steve._

 

_Im wrong._

_My skin is wrong._

_Gone gone whats wrong its all wrong_

_Its metal._

_That’s wrong._

_Why is it metal?_

_WHO IS BARNES?_

_Steve …_

_Pain._

 

_It’s me. I’m Barnes. Bucky Barnes._

_Sarah, Steve._

_Who is Sarah?_

_James. James Barnes? Bucky._

_Soldier._

 

_Steve._

_Pain again, sad pain._

_Pain._

_Bombs._

_I don’t kill._

_I kill._

_Don’t kill._

_I am Bucky._

_Soldier._

 

_Brooklyn._

_Steve is in Brooklyn._

_I have to go back._

_Pain._

_Sleep is gone again._

_France now?_

_It’s so wrong._

_Steve is gone._

_I am Bucky._

 

_Rain?_

_Always rain._

_Smells … smells of cold and bread and cigarettes._

_Pain – sadness._

_It’s sadness._

_I remember death._

_I kill._

_Soldier?_

 

_No, Steve._

_Steve Rogers._

_Sarah -gone._

_Steve is warm? Brother?_

_Pain._

_Kill_

_No I don’t._

_I don’t kill._

_Never kill._

_I am Bucky._

 

_Germany._

_Barnes – Sergeant Barnes._

_Steve._

_Pain._

_No – warm?_

_Happiness._

_I am a Soldier._

_Bucky._

_Soldier?_

_I kill._

 

_STEVEN GRANT ROGERS._

_BEST FRIEND._

_STEVE’S MOTHER – SARAH._

_MY HOME IS BROOKLYN._

_BREAD WARM SMILES HAPPY CIGARETTES STEVE_

_I AM BUCKY._

 

_I kill._

_I killed again and again._

_An accident this time – was it?_

_Reflex._

_Gone again._

_Steve is gone again._

_Who is Bucky?_

_I kill._

_Kill again._

_Kill me._

_I am Bucky._

 

_It doesn’t work._

_It never works._

_Reflex?_

_More bandages – burning._

_It’s scarred._

_I’m never awake_

_But I am Bucky._

 

_Military?_

_Saved. Always saved saving or saved._

_Safe._

_London now? No, Moscow._

_Cold. Always cold._

_Warm … Steve._

_Pain._

_Soldier._

_No. no no no n onono nono no._

_Bucky. I am Bucky._

_Steve._

_I need Steve._

 

_I remember him._

_He’s gone._

_I’m awake always awake._

_Steve’s gone._

_Death._

_Pain. Always pain._

_Let me forget._

_I don’t want to be Bucky._

 

 

_Dead. Hes dead._

_I’m awake._

_I loved him._

_I cant be awake._

_Hes dead._

_But I loved him._

_No dead._

_Always dead._

_Soldier._

_I am a soldier._

 

 

_I’m Bucky._

_Today I am Bucky._

_I remember everything but I’ll forget._

_I want to forget._

_STOP trying to remember._

_He’s dead._

_They’re all dead._

_Steve is dead._

_My name is Bucky Barnes._

_My home is Brooklyn._

_I was a sergeant in the war._

_I killed._

_I loved Steve Rogers._

_I loved him._

_I love him._

_He died._

_Steve Rogers died._

_Bucky Barnes died._

_Just forget._

_Forget._

_Stop._

_I am a Soldier._

_Ready to comply._


End file.
